Please don’t cut a hole in your mask

By Madison Zimmer, Staff Intern

If you’ve been keeping up with my entries, I mean, I doubt it, but I’m going to talk to you like you have. Anyway, if you’ve been keeping up with my entries because they are just so entertaining, you may have gathered I am a procrastinator and a naturally introverted person.

Both have their perks, might I add. This means I spend a lot of time on the internet, generally, to avoid my work.

But as this absolutely wonderful freshman year of mine that I basically slept through (Dr. Shipe can attest to that [Shipe: yes, this is true]) comes to a closing, I don’t have as much work to avoid anymore. Besides Spanish, so if anyone wants to impersonate me, I’m sure my Spanish teacher won’t notice [Shipe: especially if you just sleep].

And I’m not complaining, but if I had had something to keep me busier, like a hobby, I wouldn’t have come across this photo of a Star-Trek-lizard-alien person. I hope that made you feel uncomfortable [Shipe: nope, it’s a Doctor Who character].

Don’t worry, I’ve been keeping a healthy balance between my intake of reading stories on 4chan about people who believe reptilian-human hybrids are real and cat pictures [Shipe: definitely not an assignment for my class]. I mean just look at this cat and its stupid ears.

Speaking of stupidity, did anyone else hear about the woman who just walked into a gas station with a hole cut into her mask because she said she it was easier to breathe through it? It’s natural selection at that point. What?! Sorry.

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