This is what is feels like to have fallen off your rocker

By Madison Zimmer, Staff Intern

I know these entries are supposed to be about how my family and I are dealing with this stressful time, and I don’t know about you, but I haven’t left my house in a while so prepare for some major sidetracking.

My brain is becoming more and more scattered, but it helps with keeping busy. I’ve developed some new “hobbies.”

They include obsessing over owning a hornworm as a pet and visiting websites that are odd to say the least. Like the one that quizzes you on almost anything from Harry Potter to IQ. I started the IQ quiz but stopped because I didn’t get the questions and, in a way, that told me everything I needed to know. 10/10 recommend that quiz.

And the website that shows you any random screenshot taken by anyone anywhere on any device. One of my personal favorites is Hulk with a baby strapped to his chest like a single mother just trying to get by.

Most of my time has been spent completely reversing my sleep schedule so if you ever need to get a hold of me I’m most likely to reply around three in the morning. I’m starting to think, due to my nocturnal tendencies, and poor eyesight, I should leave the world of the civilized and be with my kind: the bats.

If you Google personality traits of a bat it says they are “intelligent, spiritual and creative individuals.” I wish I hadn’t clicked search because I could’ve gone about the rest of my life happily believing I was more well-rounded than a bat, but now I can’t continue to lie to myself.

This is starting to sound like a research paper only I’m interested in reading, but stay with me. If you read further its says, “They have abandoned the world of the terrestrial and adopted the nocturnal environment in which they thrive.”

Now, I would like to apologize to all of my teachers receiving my assignments and emails close to 4 in the morning. This will no longer be a problem because I’ll be abandoning school, having recently developed the lifestyle of a bat, and I believe it’s my calling.

I will be starting a Facebook group, so email me if you are interested. We can be like those people who believe they are vampires but we won’t have meetings of course because no one knows if bats can catch the coronavirus or not.

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