After scrolling for hours through WebMd I have become 99.9% sure that I am in perfect physical health, however I believe that I am developing a sort of paranoia where I believe that not only is the government trying to attack me using biotechnology, but so is everyone else in this world.
I have not seen light from the sun, except from through my hurricane proof windows, for the past two weeks, and with each day I develop and elaborate more and more on many conspiracies, and recount them to my fish, the only organisms I can trust in this world because I have held them incarcerated for the past year.
My neighbor Sue came into my house once with pizza. I waited for four hours after she left to leave my room, tip-toeing around the center of the living area where she had most likely walked, then repetitively microwaving and freezing the pizza for several days to eliminate contamination or poison, before I ate it.
I have covered every camera and even all the motion sensors in my house because I am afraid the government may be trying to spy on me. I have also begun to cough heavily around microphones, so they (the government) believe I am in a weakened, docile state. This way I will have the upper hand in case of a sneak attack.
I have moved all expensive belongings to a safe in my closet. I hold the key in an undisclosed location. But I also have false clues around my house of another location to find the key. Each of these clues has an underlying message of where the key actually is, messages that only my close family and friends would know, so that they can find it in case of my absence.
Somedays I just stare out the window and copy down license plates, then check for doubles. Recently there has been an air-conditioning repairman coming several days in a row. Maybe he is fixing an air conditioning unit, or maybe, just maybe, he is scoping out the vents in similar homes so that he can enter silently and undetected.
My being able to acknowledge that I am creating wild ideas in my head, while not causing my faith in them to waiver, is known to be a “step in the right direction” according to the WebMd community.
The WebMd community also agrees that I should begin to distract myself. So I have watched copious hours of HGTV, becoming obsessed with the differences between granite and marble, and the underlying impacts of buying a home with grass rather than one with concrete.
With this, I escape and travel to homes that I have never been to, rather than face the reality that I am forced to stay in this one. My last remaining solace is designing an impenetrable completely militarized bunker, one without weak points like windows and doors, a place on an island I will only give my lover the coordinates to, a safe place, with missiles strong enough to throw the government off its rhythm.